Years of solitude
by LadyFromPoland
Summary: Morgana secretly loves Gwen. However when she comes back to Camelot after an year, things seem to be different. She wants revenge. Pairings: Morgana/Gwen, Arthur/Gwen, Arthur/Merlin, Gwen/Lancelot. Spoilers for seasons: 1, 2 and 3. Light slash/femslash


**Author: LadyFromPoland**

**Disclaimer: I don't own "Merlin". It is a TV show which belongs to BBC.**

**Warnings: light slash and femslash  
**

**English is not my mother language.

* * *

**

**Words: 962**

**The title was inspired by the title of the wonderful book "One hundred years of solitude" by Marquez.**

**I just wanted to write something with allusion to femslash.

* * *

**

_**Years of solitude**_

Morgana regretted in her life a few things. But one of them was barely tolerable. She had left Camelot for an year but she had never supposed that it could change her life in that way.

The woman had been missing one person every day of that long year. It was her maidservant, her friend, her dear Gwen. That girl was the only one who had been giving her some comfort. She had a kind and understanding heart. She had never complained when she had been staying up through the night with her mistress only because of Morgana's nightmares.

The beautiful seer had fallen in love with sweet Gwen. It was a strange feeling but she couldn't help it. That feeling was in her every day of her life and she wouldn't change that even if she could.

Morgana had a mission in Camelot. She was supposed to destroy Uther. She believed that Arthur would be a better king and that he could understand that war with magic was hopeless. Moreover, the woman assured Morgause that she was able to influence him. The fair haired witch had such a strong faith in Morgana, so she had agreed.

However in Camelot things went wrong. Morgana had always hoped that Gwen would have liked her more than a friend. That light belief had kept her going for so long.

But Gwen, after an year of separation, was different. The young maid was of course happy that Morgana returned to the castle. But it was a strange happiness.

The dark haired lady didn't understand it at first. At the beginning she thought that it all was like this because they had been apart for an year. However after a month she found out a true reason. And it made her furious. Gwen, _her_ Gwen, was a new aim of a womanizer named Arthur Pendragon.

Morgana was sure that it wasn't Gwen's fault. She blamed Arthur and him alone. He must have seduced a poor and lost, after losing her mistress, Gwen. He only wanted to use her. The witch couldn't help but thought like that.

Her heart was broken. Arthur bloody Pendragon destroyed her dreams. Morgana wasn't going to stay and watch. The prince broke her hopes. She wanted to break his future as well.

The funniest thing was that the man who had poisoned her an year before was in the similar situation. Morgana was supposed to hate Merlin. But she couldn't. She had wanted to break him but he was already broken.

They both had broken hearts so they couldn't fight with each other. It was pointless. However there was some difference between them. Merlin seemed to accept the reality. He had feelings for Arthur but it was platonic love. He wanted Arthur to be happy and Gwen made him happy. Morgana knew that it was an act of true and pure love. But she didn't want to follow Merlin.

The woman wasn't going to kill Arthur. It wouldn't pain him long enough. Her first thought was to kill Merlin, she knew that deep inside the prat cared about this boy, but eventually she came to the conclusion that she didn't want to have his blood on her hands. She didn't know then that he was a great sorcerer so she rather didn't have a chance to kill him. Morgana didn't want to hurt Gwen too. She truly loved her. However she didn't want to make the girl love her. Gwen has right to consider her only as a friend. The witch would stand it. Too many things had happened to come back to the sweet years of innocent smiles and touches. But Arthur had changed the things and he was going to suffer the consequences.

Morgana didn't want Gwen to be heartbroken. She remembered a young man who had been dear to her maid's heart. His name was Lancelot.

It was not something easy but she made the decision. Morgana couldn't have Gwen and she didn't want Arthur to have her too. It pained her but she decided that Lancelot would be perfect for the girl.

* * *

**Uther was killed. Arthur became king. Gwen married him. Merlin was in pain. Morgana put a strong spell and left Camelot forever.

* * *

**

After an year Lancelot came back to the Camelot and became a knight. He still loved Gwen (Morgana couldn't really blame him). She watched it all from afar. Two years later Arthur found out that his Queen had a romance with his best knight. Gwen and Lancelot left Camelot forever just like Morgana had done years ago.

The woman smirked. She achieved her aim. Arthur, great Arthur, lost the love of the woman. It was worth the years of waiting.

Morgana didn't feel guilty. Merlin was still by Arthur's side so if he was lucky enough, he would have his love one day. Arthur wasn't as strong as other people thought and the witch was aware of that. He always needed some consolation.

The dark haired woman's life became the years of solitude. She wasn't as cruel and evil as she wanted to think about herself. Her spell had broken one relationship but it opened the door of other possibilities. Thanks to Morgana one feeling came back to life. There was also a chance that the other love would be born one day.

Most of legends say that Morgana le Fay was an evil and even heartless witch. But if she helped two loves to burn and broke her own love, then how can she be evil? Are legends wrong? Is it possible that Morgana put the happiness of the other people above her own? Maybe she wanted to love and to be loved but her life ran out of luck?

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed it. Now, please, review! :)**


End file.
